comic quotes

TOP 33 Funny Quotes


Interesting (and sometimes funny) Historic Quotes

1- “Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” –Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929

2- “The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon”. –Sir John Eric Ericksen, a British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873

3- “Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction”. –Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

4- “This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” –Western Union internal memo, 1876

5- “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” –Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

6- “But what … is it good for?” –Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip

7- “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” –Ken Olson, president, chairman, and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

8- “640K ought to be enough for anybody.” — Bill Gates, 1981

9- “The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible.” –A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

10- “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” –H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

11- “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” –Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

13- “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.” –Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895

14- “Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.” –Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre

15- “If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” –Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M “Post-It” Notepads

16- “Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy.” –Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859

17- “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” –Charles H. Duel, 1899

Not related to products or companies

18- “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates

19- “In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” — John Adams

20- “If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher

21- “You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.” –Milton Berle

22- (When asked, “How many people work in the Vatican?”) “About half.” –Pope John Paul XXIII

23- “Only two things are infinite– the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not so sure about the former.” –Albert Einstein

24- “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.” –Elizabeth Taylor

25- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” — Oscar Wilde

26- “Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde

27- “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” –Groucho Marx

28- “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you– he really is an idiot.” –Groucho Marx

29- “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” — Earl Wilson

30- “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” –Steven Wright

31- “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” –Steven Wright

32- “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.” –Agatha Christie

33- “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” — Patrick Murray


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Troy @ Market History

Haha the one by Patrick Murray is actually really funny. I think I’ll ever want to settle down.